Tuesday, July 31, 2012
So I've had a very stressful day. My mom and I were talking about baseball and my father butt in. He claims that if they change then name of his teams field it wont b worth watching blah blah blah. So I pointed out that it was just a game and that names really honestly don't matter. He said I didn't understand because I am a woman, and as a woman my mind can't handle complex thoughts or explanations. That of course ticked me off and we started fighting. He belittled my schooling, because I'm taking online classes and not in what he says is a traditional college. That from a man who has done nothing his entire life...In the past I would have been heartbroken. I would have cried and let his hurtful words play over and over in my mind. But I'm not a little girl looking for her fathers approval anymore. I have chosen my own path and the only one who has to be happy with it is me. I'm proud of my school and of the goals I have set for myself. He doesn't have to like me or support the choices I make. After the fight today, I realized that he needs me more than I ever needed him.
So he called today, and I swore to everyone I wouldn't answer. But I did. His voice was just the same, it was like we had never stopped talking. In that moment we were kids again. I was his best friend and he was mine. My heart forgot for just a moment to not care. It was over just like that... A couple minutes, a few heart beats and he was gone again. I was left alone with the memory of him.